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Monday, April 29, 2013

An Affirmation of My Position on Bleach

A while ago, my sister-in-law made a comment about how much more relaxed I am these days. When I asked her to elaborate, I had to laugh because it seems that she'd mistaken my silence on certain issues for sanity. It has been said that when a fool remains silent, even he may be considered wise. Perhaps I should heed that sentiment sometime... but for now I'm going to go on writing about bleach.

She mentioned that my intensity came across through some odes to bleach that I blogged a few years ago, and also through my penchant for long-distance endurance challenges. Now, it's true that I haven't had the time to pursue any marathons lately, but my ardent love for bleach has not waned. What has waned is the amount of time that I have to write about my love for bleach. So, joke's on them! I managed to convince Peter's family that I was less crazy, simply by virtue of having less time to publish my idiosyncrasies on the interwebs. (Or is the joke on me since I'm still writing posts about how much I love bleach?)

Regardless, I really love bleach. I've made peace with the fact that it's not very green. Household use of bleach is pretty benign, I think. It dissociates into a salt and water compound within 24 hours. I verified this with an actual chemical engineer. So go ahead, bleach it up!

I cleaned out my dishwasher this week. It was horrifying. I never would have thought to clean it out except for the fact that the bottom was growing mold. I'm actually embarrassed by how long it took me to clean it out after I noticed the mold. I was going to post a picture of the before and after. But I decided that I would be shunned by all decent society if people knew how much mold was growing in the dishwasher while I was still using it to wash dishes.

I did an initial cleaning which helped, but underneath the trap at the bottom, I could still see nastiness. We removed the trap only to encounter nastiness exponentially greater than could be seen outside the trap. There was an entire stagnant-water ecosystem under there complete with billowing algae fronds. I'm not a light weight, I can deal with gross stuff. I was a nurse. But this nearly made me gag. I cleaned it out, all the while trying not to throw up. And then I ran a cycle with a cup of bleach inside the top rack. Now that dishwasher is as sparkling white as a snow-capped mountain glistening under a bright winter sun (you might have to use your imagination)!

After a lot of elbow grease and a hefty dose of bleach

Also, Isla has pink eye. Poor thing. It's pitiful. This is new, none of us have had pink eye. Again, I'm not a light weight when it comes to grossness. I can deal and have dealt with nearly every type of bodily fluid common to man. But the ever-flowing founts of green mucus that are my baby's eyes? It's kind of getting to me. So, basically I've run amok with the bleach.

I am so, so thankful for bleach. Really, I'm almost verklemt writing this. Admittedly,  I may be a little emotional at the moment as a result of caffeine consumption and an extended stint during which we've been cooped up inside due to illness- John had a cold, now Isla has pink eye. But to think that some people don't have bleach with which to cleanse ecosystems from their dishwashers and eye gunk from everywhere else- I can't bear it! If that makes me crazy, then check me into the institution! I'm sure such establishments use a lot of disinfectants, so I would probably like it there.


1 comment:

Rachel said...

I have greatly relaxed my position against bleach. Potty training boys was the first straw. I even started bleaching my cloth diapers every month and they don't smell, and aren't breaking down or anything they warn you against.