Last night I could not sleep. I was somehow both tired and wired. I could not calm my brain down enough to drift off to the land of nod. Don't you sometimes wish that your brain had an off switch? I finally was dozing off around 1 am when John woke up for his nightly snack. So then I came back to bed around 1:30. But I kept hearing noises. I thought the cats were in our room so I got up to search under the bed. By this time I'm feeling wired again. Finally I fall asleep at some unholy hour (after 2 am) knowing that my child will wake up at an equally unholy hour (between 6 am -7 am usually).
So I wake up this morning a wee bit bleary-eyed. I go to make my coffee. Then I go to pour myself a cup only to realize that something isn't quite right:
Yes. I forgot to add the coffee to the coffee. Methinks I should take a nap this day. (But meknows that is nothing more than a pipe dream.) That is one of the hardest things about motherhood so far- not being able to sleep when I want to sleep. Not that I could sleep when I wanted to sleep while I was working full time. Though at my job in SLC there were times when I would sneak off to the break room to take a nap when things were slow (and I was pregnant so no one hassled me). John, however, is oh-so-much-more (I'm really not sure that I used hyphens correctly there but I don't have time to clarify that on google at the moment...) demanding than a full time job and I cannot sneak off unbeknownst to him to catch some shut eye. But I wouldn't trade this job for anything. Despite the fatigue, I'm thankful that I get to nurse him every night and be greeted by his coos and smiles every morning. (Not everyone is so enthusiastic about seeing me first thing in the morning.) It won't always be this way and I keep telling myself to soak it up while it lasts. And I really am loving (most) every moment!